Have you noticed you get approached more when you’re wearing box braids compared to your natural hair? Same here—and here’s why I think that happens.
As someone who’s both obsessed with hair and is also chronically online, I’ve come across some pretty interesting hair-related hot takes. One that really stuck with me is this idea that your hairstyle—or even your hair color—can change the kind of people you attract.
At first, I thought it sounded a little out there. But the more I really thought about it, the more I realized I’ve experienced this firsthand. For me, as a Black woman, the difference in how people interact with me when I’m wearing box braids versus my fro, or curls versus a wig, is undeniable.
So, let’s talk about it. Here’s my personal experience and humble analysis of how different hairstyles seem to influence who’s attracted to me—or at least who feels bold enough to approach.
Curls vs. Fro
Let’s start with my natural hair. Some of you can probably guess the kind of people who approach me when I’m in a big fro. When it comes to men, the majority of them are slightly older Black men with locs or their own fro. They’ll often hold up their fist as a subtle nod of appreciation, like, “I see you.” On the other hand, there are younger white guys who love to hit me with the classic, “love the hair.” It’s not harmful at all, actually its quite encouraging, but it’s always interesting to see that these are the people who most consistently comment.
For women, it’s usually a younger Black woman hyping me up with a compliment (“Your hair is gorgeous”). Non-Black women, however, often just stare—like really stare. I decide to take the staring as a compliment but as an introvert, this can be a lot to handle. I’ve learned to not take it personally unless the stares come with a snarky comment (which happens a bit more often than you’d think).
I’ve noticed that a fro tends to command attention. It’s big, bold, and unapologetic—it can’t be ignored. That level of presence is probably why reactions to it vary so much. Some people admire it, some people seem confused by it, and others just don’t know how to react. Honestly, it’s kind of fun to see, even if it’s not always a positive experience. (Radicalizing the afro one day at a time, lol.)
Now, when I wear my hair in curls, it’s a different story. It’s still a lot of hair, but the smaller, more defined curls feel less “big” and, in my opinion, more “digestible” to others. With curls, I notice I get approached more by younger people—think high schoolers or college kids—who tend to say something like, “Wow, you have so much hair.”
I’ve also noticed that when I wear my curls, I come across as younger, whereas my afro gives me a more mature look. Curls don’t draw as much attention as my fro does, and I don’t get stared at as often. For me, that can feel like a relief, but it’s also fascinating to see how the same hair, styled differently, changes people’s perceptions.
Box Braids vs. Wigs
Now on to box braids, one of the most common styles. If you’ve worn braids, you’ve probably noticed this too—braids seem to be the most “acceptable” hairstyle for Black women, especially to non-Black people. Why? My theory is that it’s because braids resemble long, straight hair, which is a shape they’re more familiar with. Most people can’t tell the difference between braids, twists, or even locs, but as long as the hair is long and straight down, it’s deemed “normal.”
I’ve even had people tell me, “You look so much better in braids,” which is wild to me because I don’t think braids fit my face shape as well as some of my other styles. But it’s not really about me—it’s about what they’re used to. Braids feel less “foreign” to them than an afro or curls, and unfortunately, that comfort dictates their preferences.
Now, wigs? That’s completely different.
The few times I’ve worn straight or body wave wigs, the difference in who approaches me is shocking. Wigs seem to attract a much broader range of men, likely because wigs give off a more “mainstream” or celebrity vibe. Think Cardi B, Nicki Minaj, or Beyoncé—wigs are often associated with glamor and the women we see in the media.
With wigs, I noticed men of all types approaching me, and many even preferred the wig over my natural hair. (This, of course, is the opposite of what you often hear men say online, but maybe that’s just where I live.) I think it’s because wigs align more with the “universal” beauty standard, which has historically leaned toward straight, sleek hair.
Interestingly, I noticed that women didn’t have as much to say about my wigs compared to my natural hair or braids. My guess is that natural styles feel more personal and unique, while wigs can come off as more generic or less individualized.
Final Thoughts
Obviously, these observations are based on my personal experiences, and they won’t apply to everyone. But I do think it’s fascinating how much your hairstyle can influence the way people perceive and interact with you.
What I’ve learned from all this is that your hair is more than just a hairstyle—it’s a form of self-expression that can send signals about who you are (or who people think you are). Some styles will draw admiration, others curiosity, and some might even challenge people’s expectations.
But at the end of the day, the most important thing is that you wear your hair in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
I’d love to hear from you: Have you noticed a difference in who’s attracted to you or how people treat you based on your hairstyle? Or is it the same no matter what?
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